Wednesday, June 16, 2010

"There's Been a Name Change"

"There's been a name change," I said to the receptionist at the doctor's office when I checked in, wearing my black blouse with the flat beads sewn into the top and a skirt that I had picked out for my work day.

Yesterday morning started out rather horrible. The night before, I had slept on an air mattress at my coworker's house so that the dogs I was to watch as she went on vacation could get used to me. Having become used to sleeping on my sofa, my hip and thigh began to hurt as I tried to adjust position as normally do between sleep cycles. At one point, my friend's boyfriend closed my door at her request because the dogs seemed to have no end to their barks.

Her friend had bought us both dinner at the local clubhouse, where the waitress had accidentally spilled my water all over my blouse. The food was good, though. I had a cheese steak sandwhich with regular fries and Harold presented a chip to my lips to taste--an action that I considered a little inappropriate under the circumstances.

He stayed the night, and I slept in another room on the air mattress upon which I must have pulled a muscle on my tender side while attempting to flip from side to side. In the morning, Harold knocked on my door to wake me at the hour I had requested and I got up in my nightshirt to help walk the snauzers who were so obedient.

Once back inside, I showered and dressed for work, noting which things I had failed to pack, and eventually left for work, after Harold, but before my friend, who came bouncing out with wet hair and a bra. I told her I'd see her at work and began the short drive into the office.

As I pressed on the accelerator, a pain went shooting up my thigh. Sometimes, it was in the thigh, and sometimes in the hip. It was excruciating. I tried driving with my left foot for awhile, but that was too dificult, and the pain did not completely subside.

The last time my hip hurt so bad like this, after attempting a heat pad for a couple of days, I had found that an ice pack made the pain go away. So I limped into the McDonald's just off the base too pick up a hot/cold pack, some zip lock bags and a kitchen towel to form a temporary ice pack.

Once I got into work, I was alternating the cold and hot treatment. Neither seemed to work. Rather, they seemed to induce more pain. I got up and walked the hallway, which seemed to work, but I could tell that was not going to last for long.

Finally, I called my doctor to try to get in and avoid the emergency fee. They had a little trouble pulling my record up when I called, as I eventually explained that I had changed my name and didn't know if it had been updated by the system. She said there was an availability at 3 PM, and I took it.

At 12:30 PM, I gave up the fight to be productive and asked one of my friends for more painkillers. It took me about 30 minutes of stretching to get into the car for my hour drive up to the doctor's office, and as I drove I figured that the pain would probably end by the time I got there.

Unsurprised, I discovered I was right. My right leg felt fine, but when I tried to stand on it, I almost fell down. It was a weird, almost numb sensation. I could only stub walk my way in the door and into the elevator, occasionally grabbing a wall to re-orient my balance.

When I checked in, I explained to the receptionist that I had changed my name. She just asked if I had an insurance card with the new name and updated the system before pulling up my record.

Eventually, I was called in. My weight read 202 lbs, and I was so disheartened. It seems I'll never leave that zone. Temperature was normal, and she led me to my room where I waited for the doctor to show up after she updated my chart.

When the doctor arrived, we discovered that the most sensitive spot to her touch was in my upper right buttock. Somehow, that muscle, when strained, was pulling or pinching my sciatic nerve. As she prescribed a cortisone shot, which she was to give me in a few minutes, and a prescription for muscle relaxant, I also told her about my quandary with the estradiol.

I explained that my endocrynologist would prescribe the pill form, and gave me a prescription for the patch instead--which I couldn't afford. Since my prescription for the pill was about to run out, could she write a new prescription for the equivalent dosage in the pill that I was prescribed in the patch? No problem. After my shot, as I picked up the paper, the first thing I noticed was that she had indeed changed my name, except the responsible party was listed as 'Robert.' But just below that the box for sex had an 'F' in it! And stamped in red ink in the top right corner, it stated:

"Please schedule:
  • "Colonoscopy
  • "Mammogram
  • "Pap Smear
  • "Diabetic Eye Check"
I teased the receptionist that they should probably schedule a prostate exam instead of a pap smear, since I'm not ready for it. I do need to schedule the others if the insurance will pay, but I want to wait until after my endocrynogist follow-up in early August to do so.

The cortisone worked well. By the time I got home to take care of the pets, it had begun to wear off a little. Just in time for one of them to take off around the corner and send me on a chase to find her. She wouldn't let me pick her up, and I had to eventually lead her back to the apartment by going down a steep hill, she was a little timid about.

Once inside, I couldn't corral her to the kitchen. I had issues at home to deal with, and had got the leash on her once, before I took it off because the phone rang. And from then on, she's been snipping at me when I try to put the leash on.

She wound up sleeping in the living room last night. She did come to the entryway when I cracked the door. When I tried to leash her, she took off to the living room and squatted! Oh! I had to chase her back to the kitchen area, where I took advantage of the situation to move the child barricade so that she couldn't get back to the living room. She still wouldn't take the leash, and when she made for the kitchen for a drink, the barricade finally moved home. All this time, I'm telling her that she has to go on the leash outside because she ran away from me.

I'm due up at the church for a meeting at 5 PM tonight, so I'll undoubtedly have a mess to clean up before feeding them and working on the divorce paperwork. It may be a battle of the wills, but I will not take her outside without a leash again, especially when I have to limp after her.

Hugs and God Bless,

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