Tuesday, June 8, 2010


And she struck at me clumsily with one clawing hand, almost losing balance, stubbing at the path with her stick. I ran then, turning back only when I was well out of range, ducking down beside a stand of red currants, to watch her staggering toward the house, dragging her feet in great loops in the dirt behind

- Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of an Orange

Sometimes, somebody hurts so bad they lash out at the people they love, and when that happens repeatedly, the best thing to do is duck out of sight until they have enough room to let it out and cool off.

This morning, I checked my voice mail, expecting to hear more vituperous speech. Instead, I heard a rapid, "Good Night, God Bless You. I love you...dad." So I guess it's safe to come out of hiding now and give her a call tonight around bedtime.

Some people believe they have to suffer abusive relationships, feel they're worthy of the invectives and treatment stemming from the other person. Sometimes they take the punishment passively as a punching bag, while others jump in the fray, toe-to-toe, scream-for-scream.

How you deal with a situation that cannot be escaped depends on the individual situations and requires careful consideration. But if you can leave the abuse, then do so. Get away. No one deserves to be treated as something to heap insults on or as a punching bag.

Well-intentioned people do bad things, say bad things when they are hurting physically or emotionally and feel pressured to do something. If their pain is unacknowledged, the adrenaline running through their bloodstream can cause them to overreact in their effort to be understood. Words are often said that burn indelibly in another person's psyche, only to be thrown back out when they are hurting.

I escaped for a moment last night. It was hard, but it was worth it. While I escaped, someone showed me a little bit of pole dancing, which I have always wanted to try, and I made new friends in a place where people are often used and taken for granted. Yes, there was one person there who wanted to use me, but I easily deflected his attempts to get too close.

I'm a bit light on sleep today. Tonight is Lesson #2 in Blues Swing dancing at the Riverbend Winery and I'm looking forward to it. Last Thursday, Jim told me my dance is getting much smoother, and I felt a secret thrill. I have been trying to be an honest follow, and if my lead accidentally sends the wrong signal or fails to send one, I'll attempt to somehow incorporate the flawed instruction. Hopefully, this kind of "no mercy" will actually expand their own repoirtoire with mine, leaving them thinking to themselves, I didn't know I could do that and boosting their confidence and skills.

Then, when my glass is dry, I'll go home, call my daughters and tell them, "Good Night. God Bless You. I Love You."

Hugs and God Bless,

- Sophie

1 comment:

  1. What a lovely message from your daughter.
    I am pleased that she seems at least to be accepting things.