Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Ex-Ex

I while ago I blogged that I needed to accept the fact that my wife was my ex. I felt I was holding onto a lost cause, clinging to a candle whose flame had gone out. She found out what I wrote today and it broke her heart.

My ex is becoming my ex-ex. Actually, she never thought she had graduated to "ex." Sure, we've had our arguments, and screamed at each other on the phone and dredged up things we had said to each other when pressed for answers. Sure, she's not ready for me to transition; but she's still trying, which is more than I could have said for myself. I had already gone back to referring to her unashamedly as my wife.

A friend of mine after a support group meeting a couple of years ago regretted losing her family so bad that she told me that, "No matter what, don't lose your family." So that's what she's been doing. It' not easy for her, but now I know she didn't give up and was severely hurt when I thought she had.

My daughter is sick, probably a severe allergic reaction, and her mother is there taking her to the hospital. Where I fall down, she stands in. The fight to keep our marriage is not over, and I am getting back in the ring with her. She's been faithful through 3 years of transition, and that speaks volumes.

Hug and God Bless,


  1. Fantastic to read! As someone whose relationship is of number one importance it always saddens me to read tales of breakdown so it's lovely to read a post heading in the other direction.

  2. Great to hear you are still working on this Sophie.
    You have come a long way in the last couple of years.
    My wife and I are still together and are working our way through this.
    It can be done with an open mind on both parts and a lot of communication, with a healthy dose of love.
    Good luck to you both.

  3. Glad to hear this. My wife and I have both come close to calling it quits at times, but we are still hanging in after almost 25 years. Stubbornness more than anything, but whatever it takes...