A New Beginning

His words spun a spell around me, my mind filling with images that simultaneously aroused and repulsed me.
- Katie McAlister, Playing with Fire

I got the job. Unbelievably, somehow, I got the job, despite accidentally let slip a little crude humor at lunch and calling the director of develoment the wrong name--twice. I got the job.

In two weeks, I get to start over, start fresh, begin working where nobody (with the exception of Human Resources) knows my past. Little reminders like the name on my corporate email account, having to use a separate bathroom, and being denied hormones by the insurance company will become a thing of the past.

Last Wednesday, I flew up to Salt Lake City for the opportunity at a job making slightly more than I did last year before I got laid off, before I moved to Kentucky and transitioned. A whirlwind of prepping the Saturday before, and hair and makeup tips from Ryan were not the only things that helped me land this job. What really helped was being patient and transitioning on the job instead of between jobs last August, when a lawyer in Houston recommended I do so.

Last year, I flew up to Seattle in September, presenting as female for an interview, but because I hadn't worked as a woman, I was somewhat nervous during the interview process, unsure if I would be accepted, even though the company policy stated they would; and I'm sure that nervousness rubbed off.

When I interviewed last Thursday, it was like another day going to work. I dressed a little nicer, but not over the top in a skirt suit. In fact, I had the luck of the sleeve of my blouse opting to pick that moment to start parting from the blouse. I kept my light-weight sleeved shawl on for the entire interview.

And the magic of the moment was that I was being myself, and I hit my stride. Sure, I couldn't answer every question, but the bulk of the interview was to actually gauge my social skills, and I heard that there were no complaints of the 10 men that interviewed me and treated my as a lady the whole time. I found out later, when I looked at the buisiness card that one of the architects gave me to call if I had any questions, that he was not just "an architect;" he is the director of architecture.

I can't emphasize more the benefits of transitioning at work if you can.

So I will start my cross-country drive out on the 16th. This weekend left me feeling a little morose. I have many friends in Louisville, and it's a bit like cutting off my arm. I'm replanting in soil I have never been in. I have to re-establish a support safety net for myself, and a life outside of work. I'll be alone again, until I earn people's confidence in Salt Lake City.

And I'll be stealth. I'll have a permanent job with good benefits and I'll be able to afford to make my financial commitments. They also tell me there is no ghetto in Salt Lake City.

I'll also be entering a long-distance relationship for the next few months. Facebook, email and Instant Messaging should help me deal with some of the longing for my close friends.

I resigned yesterday. It was not easy. Tonight, I get to tell my laser tech that it's the last appointment, and I will go spend some time with Ryan afterwards.

Hugs and God Bless,
Sophie