Thursday, June 16, 2011

Fade to Stealth

I was just reading an article from a couple of weeks ago about someone severing their ties after surgery, because they were going stealth.

I'm not going to be that way, and here's why. There are a lot of people who look up to you and need guidance on their journey. Imagine walking into a support group, hoping to speak to someone about the next complications in your transition, and find that the people who have that knowledge have gone stealth, not responding to the trans community, leaving you a big sister, when you need one of your own. It happened to me, and it happened to a lot of people.

I did announce last week that the adult support group meeting I attended would probably be my last, because I am not in a position where I am needing emotional support. I have wonderful friends in the trans community, the LGBT community, and outside of it--most aware of my past, even though to practically all, they know me first as a woman.

I also don't feel like doing a lot of advocacy right now. I want to dance.

But at the same time, I am not severing my connections to the trans community. I will remain a Big Sister through the online support organization I have put together and maintain my friendships with the friends I already have. Indeed, Transcenders Global Social Support Network now has 51 members on FaceBook, and it serves a vital need that I refuse to abandon.

But meanwhile, in the rest of my life, for the time being, until something propels me into the spotlight, I am fading into stealth. There are fewer reasons to tell people about the way I was born, and I don't want it to define me. For instance, I no longer have to ask Human Resources at work whether the health policy covers SRS or how I will be able to complete it when I don't have enough paid-time-off to draw on. I'm done. Now I will just pursue what challenges me and makes me happy.

And I will seek support where it will be the most beneficial. There's an intersex support group meeting held in Ogden every month. I plan to be there.

Fading to Stealth,
Hugs and God Bless,
Sophie Jean

1 comment:

  1. I commend your decision to remain accessible. This is something I too have given a lot of thought. It is a difficult consideration. Do you stand your ground and be the person others need you to be, or do you start over and hope to enjoy a "normal" life? I don't think there's one right answer, and I don't blame anyone for trying to live a normal life. Afterall, isn't that what we all dream of?

    That said, I too have resolved to remain public... regardless what that may mean.

    Thanks for being you!