Tuesday night was the last of our belly dancing lessons. After warming up we divided into groups, drilling our individual choreographies a few times. Then we were assigned 15 minutes to come up movements for the last 16 counts of a very fast riff. Our group decided to swap the front and back groups in the first four beats while doing shoulder shimmies, and then spin into a tight group in the next four beats. In the last eight counts we touch step strike a clustered pose, with me at the front, leaning out to expose the rest of the group. Next Tuesday is the final.
I have less than 3 weeks now until surgery, and I have to say I am getting really nervous; especially when people are starting to read me while showing their encouragement. I am really, really needing some cuddling time.
I am starting to assess my situation with regards to my goal of not being alone on Christmas this year. Neither of my interests seem to have that potential. One only feels courageous enough at his work to tell me how he feels, and the other is off on a bicycle trip across the state of Utah with someone they have been calling spouse for the last 14 years. Odds are, I'll be alone again for Christmas.
I'm struggling not to end this entry on such a negative note, but have no clue what to say or even think at this point, other than:
Hugs and God Bless,
Sophie Jean
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